"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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