he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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