So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
