I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
