glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
