Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
