yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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