You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
