I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
