I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
