So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
