well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize