Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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