i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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