office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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