O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
