I hate all girls vehemently.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
