but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
