My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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