I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
