Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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