eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
