your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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