road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
