I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I would ride that face into the sunset
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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