I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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