what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
