It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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