i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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