also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
