dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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