lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
