Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My Higher Power is John Stamos
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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