My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
