absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
