JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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