How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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