Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
