My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize