Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
