ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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