The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
