hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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