cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize