I want to walk on stilts...naked
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
