i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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