my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
