So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
