Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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