I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
