We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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