You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
only if we run a train.
done.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
