haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think my mom watched the whole time
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This is the high leading the old right now
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
