you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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