I accidentally burped into my bong.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
