A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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