ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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