Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
